I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
