dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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