thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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