I CAN MOONWALK!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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