Me too!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
