we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
