At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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