I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize