if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are all done wearing pants today
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
