no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
