Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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