We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I party with great urgency now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
