help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
