i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
