I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize