he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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