this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
