The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize