think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
