I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
