Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
