So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
