Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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