Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
