Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
