I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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