I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
