so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
