Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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