theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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