I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Welp...herpes.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
