seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
