He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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