Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
