Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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