remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
