He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
