put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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