So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
