HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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