Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
