Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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