just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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