we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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