i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
