i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize