Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize