Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
