How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
