I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
