this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
