I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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