dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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