so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
