"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
