brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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